to {you} tenderness

I am a train wreck avert your eyes all you want my ripped walls and shredded chrome still catch the light and turn your head I am an exploding star, I am the sun and not like how you mean it. I am a collection of a million volcanoes exploding all at once I blow up at the minute to keep you warm, soft and alive. Do you get what I’m saying? I could hurl tangerines and grapefruits at your limp body I could take you for a walk on the frozen river until we both crash inside but then where would the fun go? and what about your hands? I hate the feathered way you cut my name I’m sick to the sight of your back at my eyes wrap your legs around mine again so I can remember what it feels like please, hold back onto my hand it’s always right there waiting nobody knows me like you do lying lying lying liar. nobody talks like they know me like you do nobody knows the curve of my ear better when I sleep You are making a show. all your flowery words are vining up around my ears I could kiss you when you look at me like that don’t ever look at me with the same eyes you used to look at her I wanna slap you with the flattened palm of my hand and then fracture every one of my fingers that ever thought to hurt you and when you call me tender? I hope you picture your knuckles wrapped around the arm of a hammer pounding the head into fresh meat. I’m flattened flesh on the countertop. to think of how I got this soft: You You I don’t know what to call you in a poem I don’t know the words to say when you never give me any.